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His name is Rod, he fixes bowling alleys for a living

March 2007, around 8pm… Rod waits quietly while his fourth date takes her time to step up and settle into the high stool across round bar table. She hangs her modern handbag from the right-hand corner of the chair back and places her speed dating card on the table in front of her. She greets him with a polite smile and then writes his name down in square No.4.

Without smiling his eyes glance across her hair, her face, her shoulders and her chest while she writes down his name. She is fashionable, friendly and possibly taller and heavier. He sits with his rounded shoulders against the back of his chair. His hands rest on his lap underneath the table.

“How are you?” she asks after resting her pen down on top of her now folded speed dating card. A small smile appears on Rod’s Mr Bean face as he tells his new date that he is “well”. 

“What is your name?” he asks as he points to the visible corner of a nametag, the rest of which has slid behind a silk, green scarf. 

Rod is aware of her watching as he bends his head to write her name into square No.4 of his own card. He looks awkward, perhaps knowing that she will think his hands quite small for a man, his haircut old-fashioned and his navy jumper and tan pants unfashionable.

They begin with small talk about the weather and where they live. He lives in the city’s north, in a now fashionable suburb where he bought his little brick home nearly two decades ago. She lives in a popular south-side suburb just two train stops from the city centre. He lives alone – she lives with a cat.

The conversation stalls. The allocated three minutes had sped by so quickly with Glen V who runs a splashback tiles business, brown-suited John who works at the army barracks and tall Jeff who didn’t even answer any of her questions.

She swigs down the rest of her white wine. The host, watching from a nearby distance, walks over to refill her glass. Rod takes a sip of his water.

At one minute and 32 seconds she asks: “tell me about what do you do for a living.” Rod begins to relax as he talks about his 20-year career fixing bowling alleys. Although, his little 40-something face does not light up like it had when he told his third date all about his replica ‘Kit’ from Night Rider.

A gong signals the end of the three minutes. Rod’s fourth date does not linger like many of the girls at the other tables, but waits patiently as the next-girl farewells her fifth date.

“I hear he is hard work,” says softly spoken and almost-camp Glen K in the pinstripe suit on table no.5. “Everyone seems eager to get to me!”

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